I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
