I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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