my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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