franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
