Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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