I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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