I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize