Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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