i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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