I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
