The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
