You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
