We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
