dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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