Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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