How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize