Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't deserve a penis
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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