just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
