Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
