My first STD was from a foam party
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
