my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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