How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
