I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
