hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
