The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude i'm inner monologue high
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
babies were throwing up all over the place
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
