his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
