i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
