I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
