apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize