TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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