On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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