How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
