Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
