I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
