I wanna passion pit in your ass
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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