I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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