Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
