If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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