You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So squirting runs in the family.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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