Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
