His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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