she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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