I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
