stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
