Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
