Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
