The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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