Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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