yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
