Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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