i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
