Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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