it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
