just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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