The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
