Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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