I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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