would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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