p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
