dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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