What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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