Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
