I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
